Relationship Views Today
Hello there my lovelies! This post will be a little different, because my other beauty ideas require a little more planning and assistance. Plus, my energy is limited right now due to: finals in a week, graduation in 2 weeks, and all the extra to accomplish in between! My life is just a haze at this point.
So, I scrolled through social media and spoke to a friend about post inspiration, and the most common theme is relationships. Honestly, it is big in everything we read and watch, since we are so fascinated with the concept of love. Now, I feel like I should be the ghost writer for The Single Girl Chronicles, but this is my perspective and slight experience with this subject.. The College Edition!
Everyone around me (based on my timelines) is either getting married, having children, and moving into homes.. OR posting negatively on how relationships are near impossible to keep or trust. I am genuinely happy for my peers moving on up, so no hate or shade there. Now, my other peers I'm 50/50 with y'all on your complaints. There is so much more to be said that I won't cover, but that's why we have the comments! LOL
We are living in the age of side chicks/dudes being glorified, as if it is cute, but turn around and get mad if we get played (Oh and please stop KNOWINGLY being a side, nothing to be proud of!!!). These are the fake "I don't care", "It's gonna happen anyway", etc. types who are just scared inside. Screwing over people's feelings is no joke, so stop being so self-centered about your actions like you're the only one needing to be pleased. We like to fall back on our sob stories (which can be very much valid) but never get passed that and stay a victim. At this point, sadly, everyone has a story to explain why they are the way they are. However, this explanation is not to be an excuse, because we choose how to go forward with it no matter how hard the road to better may be. It is best to be honest up front to say what it is you're looking to gain from the new person you meet. May sound like an a**hole to some, but it's better to not ruin a person for the next by playing games.
Then we have the super sweet people pleasers who put themselves out there way too much. It is good to being selfish with yourself sometimes in a positive manner. Taking it too far will get you in that paragraph of hot mess above. Establish what you feel and your boundaries more often instead of just going with the flow, because the other person will never understand what you're going through unless you speak on it. I 100% understand how hard it is to bare feelings, since I have a wall up around me, but I am learning to get better. I suffered more (in general) by being complacent because it just built a bigger wedge between us. Since everything has a catch, don't go overboard knit picking, because you will feel annoyed with people in life at some level no matter what. This is when you check in with a friend to see if you are being petty or not. I have to call my mother because she knows I can be blunt and petty like no other.
Feeling alone is a hard road, and before things get better (your life period, not another person bringing "meaning" to you) it's going to get worse. I think you have to allow yourself to really feel all those emotions, so you know what you can handle for the future. Always have that safe person to go to, whether it be a friend, family member, or counselor. This person can keep you from being completely consumed in all the negative aspects. When that next potential partner comes around you aren't so ready to jump into it and get hurt because you're trying to keep up with everyone else or feeling a void that isn't meant for them. Don't fall for any and everything with just anyone to pass the time. Now, I'm not saying only test for that true love and long lasting relationship (because who knows what that looks like in the beginning), but get to know people and go out on a couple of dates to reacquaint yourself and see what you're in to. You know, try not to do things you will regret, but hey... you live and you learn. People are unpredictable, so no matter how "good" you're being you can't safeguard against everything.
We are always harder on ourselves, but I have faith that when the time is right certain things will come to us, and we will be blessed! We get so stuck on superficial things and social media, we don't actually get to know ourselves or the other person involved. At the end of the day you have to enjoy yourself and your life, so those actions and the role you're playing in someone's life (and vice versa) matters!
Much Love,
Khariah