The Golden Question: Why?

TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY

This is the title of author Jay Asher's debut book, which is now a Netflix original series. I watched the trailer before it was released (released yesterday), and kept trying to understand why this show was ringing a bell in my mind. As it turns out, it is a book I found in the library when I was in my middle school years. I remember picking it up and wanting to read it, but putting it down not feeling quite ready for it. I don't know why I felt that way about it because I was definitely interested, yet I did, and now it is a series on Netflix. This book/show is serious, and shouldn't be taken lightly, and I suggest being somewhat ready for it (You'll know). This isn't an afterschool special, or an overdramatic lifetime movie, but a realistic and mature approach.

There are warnings before the episodes (content ratings), so this is for the mature audience. There are only 3 graphic (nothing too nude or extremely violent) scenes, but I personally could not watch one of them (in the last episode). It is emotional and not for anyone who is "faint of heart", or triggered easily. There is profane language as well. Also, I will admit I cried (a few tears at points), but I know how I can get with certain movies. This all really pulled on my Criminal Justice and Communications education.

Summary:

Clay Jensen is your average good guy, who can be considered a little shy or awkward, but he is who he is. Well, beneath the surface, things are not going okay in this community. He comes home to a box dropped off to him anonymously containing cassette tapes. The voice on the tape is what's startling, because it is Hannah Baker. The girl, his friend/crush, who just committed suicide two weeks ago. There are thirteen tapes and he is to listen to them all in order, and the message on them is to be clear. These are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. The thirteen reasons are people, and Clay Jensen is one of them. He must listen like everyone else before him did, because turns out, he isn't the first to receive them. 13 episodes

Characters:

• Clay Jensen (+parents)
• Hannah Baker (+parents)
• Tony (+father)
• Justin (+mother)
• Jessica (+parents)
• Alex
• Tyler
• Courtney
• Marcus
• Zach (+mother)
• Ryan
• Cheri
• Bryce
• Mr. Porter
• Skye

I wanted to give a list of characters names to remember, because sometimes it's hard to catch them and focus on who goes with what. Due to the nature of this show, everyone plays an important role and is integral to the story. Each person is flawed, each person had misunderstandings, each person is holding something in, and each person has their own reasons why.

The following directly pertains to this series; however, I will not explicitly detail the plot or how anything connects to a certain character. You must really watch to know how any of this truly unfolds. Trust there is a lot to discover!

Insight:

We all pass judgement, gossip, are self-indulgent, have feelings, and are dealing with something. This is obvious right, or should be; however, we act like these things are not to be acknowledged. Now, I'm not saying it is necessarily wrong, but in certain situations the outcome can be grave. Worst case scenario it opens the door to bullying, anxiety, depression, etc.

There seems to be this shift, especially in my generation, of acting like we don't care, don't feel, and don't need validation. All of this is untrue, but instead of being honest and facing it head on, we pull on that faithful mask. None of us are perfect and seek a level of reinforcement that we are doing the right things, are perceived favorably, and comfortable to express our feelings. Instead, we keep it all under "control" and release it when we deem someone/thing worthy enough.

Actions, Words, Silence:

In this book Hannah shares her thoughts, but only after it is too late, and it takes me back to the saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". I have always felt this was off because words are usually the first thing to effect you, good or bad. Actions are solid though, and generally the direct proof we run to, and take that as the facts of every case. Physically stalking, harassing, and assaulting someone leads to greater punishment, since it is deemed as good solid evidence. We wait until things go this route before intervening or believing, and this is why things go underreported. What led to those actions is often the most important part of the picture.

Words stay with us. That praise you got for being a great worker/student meant something to you and illicit a feeling. Same goes for that lie or backhanded comment about your character and/or how "easy" you are. It hits at your self-esteem by either making it grow or break. When someone is spiteful with their words it can lead to rumors and damage a person's reputation, and at the end of the day that is mainly what we have to show for ourselves. These things they say can make you feel paranoid like everyone knows something about you, except for you. The words pick at you, and you start to question yourself. You cling to certain people, but you are now vulnerable and either lose them to the malicious words/rumors, or eventually push them away. Also, it is hard to prove intent behind words, and they can be twisted in so many ways. So, if no one believes you... what do you do?

You can't not communicate, because even silence is sending a message. There are times we just want to stay out of it, or ignore anything is even happening. We know, but what does it have to do with us. People think this way until it is them, and they are wishing for those silent people to make a move. Being silent in the matter makes you just as complacent as the doers. By choosing not to act or say a word against or in favor of the situation, sends a message. It says you don't care about them, they aren't even worthy enough of my time. My favorite line in the show:

"It's the little things. It's the little things that matter"

 Suicide:

This is a heavy subject to approach, and even the word itself is too hard to read and speak. We think we understand what we fully can't understand, but how can we dare to even make that statement. It is inherently illogical. There are those who say we will never understand the suicide choice, and others who say it could have been prevented.

If you look (sometimes you don't have to even dig for it) you'll be able to find reasons and events that caused a person to make this decision. Others are at fault, and they may as well have taken the life themselves. Sometimes this does apply, and you can clearly understand how the victim was pushed into feeling so low and out of options. You keep trying only to be knocked back down to where you started, or worse. At this point no one is doing enough for you, even if they have been a good person to you. They no longer measure up to the negativity of others who have effectively broken you.

On the other side (which can sound harsh at times, but that is not the intent), this is a selfish act that we simply cannot understand. Selfish because it was their decision to make for themselves, regardless of it effecting others around them. Now all there is left to do is to mourn and wish to cope with the tragedy. As stated in the show:

"We can try to understand her last day, but we will never truly know what was in her heart and mind. So, we really don't know if we could have saved her."

Hannah:

This part is only to this character and what she does, because I would never speak on someone else's battles and situations in this manner. However, it is possible it could apply to someone and should still be taken into account as a big part of the process.

Hannah was certainly dealt one bad card after another and this left her vulnerable, and in turn paranoid about everyone around her. Sometimes things are misinterpreted and one-sided in view. She isn't the only character who was struggling though, which applies to us all in life. She had to stay on guard about herself so much, that she didn't realize that some things weren't meant to be malicious or were scared mistakes. I would say we all have experienced a moment where we judged someone so harshly, only to find out way later the cause behind their actions were understandable and possibly heartbreaking. A serious thing, mentioned earlier, is pushing good people away. Hannah started testing the wrong people in the wrong way, and while it's understood why, it was more harmful to herself. We shouldn't run people through no-win tests and then be upset when they fail. These people should not be part of the blame, solely because they did not stay or run after you. Especially, after it was severely made clear that you didn't want their persistent effort. Help doesn't happen to you, it is a give-and-take. Sadly, we know Hannah didn't get to that point of understanding, or share these thoughts until it was too late. It is true hurt people hurt people, and each character gave signs to how serious the situation can get.

Every aspect should be considered, not just summed up as "not to be understood", because the signs can be helpful. Those thinking about a way out may need a deeper discussion, which may need to include hard facts and observations, to open them back up to themselves and open to help. Then, those who are worried for others. may need this type of consideration to push them to make a better effort/change. We all need to do better with how we treat each other. There is always a story we don't know, or things we need to be aware that we do. Because everything we do impacts more than ourselves.

Much Love,
Khariah